The Great Pause may have interrupted the normality of Ryan's 11th year, but it didn't stop this kid from growing, changing and becoming more amazing.
I am not sure what it feels like to be a sensitive, wise 11 year old living through this very strange time in history. I can tell you what it's like to parent one, but I have no idea how this will impact Ryan as he moves into his teenage and adult years. What I hope he learned was that we do things to protect one another because we're part of a community; that like us, he learned a new rhythm; that he sees the value of family and close friends. Time will tell, but we could not be more proud of the resilience he has shown dealing with disappointments, differences and uncertainty.
There was probably no bigger event for Ryan in 2020 than his graduation from Valley View. That said, it was far from normal since school was basically canceled by mid-March due to COVID-19. That meant that he missed out on many of the rights of passage we had been planning for: the Greenfield Village trip, walking through the VV parade on the last day of school, Wax Museum and much more. His 5th grade year was an amazing turn around and that was because of Mrs. McCall. She recognized our boy's special qualities, cultivated in him a deep respect for those gifts and responsibility for shepherding them, and most of all, she just took delight in him. He felt that love and her dedication. His confidence blossomed. He loved school again. And he matured. Given the weirdness of the end, the beginning and middle of 5th grade made up for so much that he missed due to the pandemic.
Where Ryan took refuge through so much change was sports. Not surprising. What was surprising was how he excelled at baseball. We have never been a travel sports family and his focus has always been football as #1. But baseball was one of the COVID approved sports and so he ended up playing in two different leagues. Rockford Little League was a bit of a struggle and his emotions were all over the place since all of this was so new, but things fell into place when he got on a travel league later in the season. His pitching was tremendous. His hitting got so much better and his frustration subsided. Baseball taught him some very valuable lessons: never warm up throwing between 3rd and 1st because pitchers stand there. And umps are people too.
Initially football was canceled. We had prepared him for the news and through sad, he took the news well. But then it was back on. Man did this kid tear it up. He played both ways, punted and even threw for a touchdown (not to mention ran in a few himself.) He gets the strategy, he's a great teammate and he loves the game. We're grateful to have played 6 games and that Max could coach him. Nothing more fun than game day for the Kerrys when our two guys are on the gridiron.
This summer we hosted Camp Kerry for our good friends the Bustrums. It was a magical weekend. Last summer, Brady told me it was the best day of his life after tubing for the first time with us at the cottage and we were able to give it another shot at Camp Kerry. We were also able to craft, play legos, tie-dye, get ice cream, build boats and SWIM!
There is too much to write here and it was a deeply sacred experience since this served as Brady's final weekend of outdoor fun. He gracefully passed just a few weeks later of brain cancer. Our children have weathered a lot of loss in the last year+, and as painful as it has been, it has also made them more sensitive and kind people. Watchin Ryan wheel Brady for a walk or hold his hand while swimming was the most precious, heartwarming and bittersweet thing I've experienced as a parent. He continues to keep the Bustrums top of mind, especially during this holiday season.
We spent a ton of time at the cottage. We opened it the last weekend of March, just a few weeks after we returned from Florida an closed it in mid-October. Ryan was the first in North Bay to swim. 62ยบ did not stop him. The little girls cheered him on and Elise filmed the entire scene. We're so grateful for the time up there to break up the monotony and get us outdoors. Ryan's expertise as a tuber increased and he got even better at driving the boat. Now if we can just get some kids his age in the hood, we'd be all set! Thankfully Colin is just around the corner and we could arrange for some socially distanced fun periodically.
Family time truly is the best time. And thankfully we really like one another's company. We found ways to have adventures (chick-fil-a car picnic, surprises for bdays, lots of movie nights, trips to the lake shore and now nerf wars!) There's also a shot from Ryan's 5th grade DARE awards where he was recognized for his great essay about drug use prevention.
Through it all, Molly was at our guy's side. The bond is deep. The love is real. And the laps around the cottage were endless. (They play the best game and race each other in laps around the cottage, which sounds like thunder when you're inside the cottage and don't know it's happening.)
A pandemic doesn't mean you can't learn new tricks. Like wake surfing! Or playing cornhole with the grown ups. He also helped maintain the boat, figured out old school nintendo, became an even better big brother to Elise by coaching her up and even helped build his new furniture when we redid his room.
A few snaps of the "new normal" so we never forget. The kids both did great with the new protocols.
This year has been a turning point between the kids. The situation has forced them to learn how to play together. Not saying it is perfect or that they don't fight. They absolutely do and there is an almost 5 year age difference that separates them. But now they have 1:1 conversations, share the same type of humor and Ryan spends a lot of energy trying to support Elise like a big brother should.
Ryan's group of friends is pretty amazing. Much of the crew has stuck together since Kindergarten, so celebrating their graduation from elementary school felt especially poignant. We also have a wonderful network of family friends that love our boy like we do.
Given the precautions, the year looked a lot different for Ryan's relationships. Lots of outdoor time, masks at other points once we learned more about the spread and now, pretty much complete isolation. We've allowed a lot more screen time (Ryan got an early bday present from my parents—a Playstation) and that has helped minimize the gap. We also arranged conference calls between the boys, which was hilarious to watch but served its purpose. It's easy to forget, but these kids are resilient when they have the essentials taken care of.
Ry Guy, you're an amazing contradiction. Part jock, part scholar. Part passionate freight train, part considerate thinker. Your laugh is infectious. Your pursuit of excellence is unwavering. We love you buddy, and I we haven't said it enough, we are SO grateful for the joy you bring our life each and every day.
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