How?

Today there is a hollow space in the world that Derek and Dylan once occupied. That's how today feels. Less full of the good stuff and more full of the dark.

As everyone in Grand Rapids knows, a young youth pastor and his 6-month old baby, Dylan, passed away late Thursday night after their basement caught fire. Every newspaper, newscast and internet post is dominated by the story. And every time they flash Derek's picture, my heat skips a beat and I smile inside and think, there's Derek. And then I realize why they are showing our friend's picture and I begin to cry once more.

I am a Christian. I believe in Heaven. I know Derek and Dylan are there RIGHT NOW. I feel it. But I see the hell left behind right now for the hundred's of people that love them both and I feel that fully too. It's almost a conversely morbid relationship: the bigger the life you live, the more you love on others and inspire and teach, the more we're left with pain and confusion when something this unjust happens. This is the ultimate test of faith. And still his amazing wife Charity finds the strength to both lament her loss and trust God in the same breathe. I only hope I could be this strong.

Even now, 24-hours after having lost a friend of 16 years and all the potential that was within Dylan, I cannot truly say this is real for any of us. Short of obsessive checking of facebook for updates on how we can help, there is nothing to do, but play this over in our heads again and again....what if I hadn't had told them about this great house four doors down from ours that was on the market. What if we hadn't had moved....the fire started at the time we always walked Cali right past their front door. What if our neighbor had looked in the window and saw Derek on the couch rather than just knocking on the door...I guess this is what we do to try and make our heads catch up to the pain in our hearts.

I ask everyone the knew the Taatjes, and even those who don't, to keep them in prayer right now. Charity and his little girls, Ella and JoJo need all the care and positive energy we can muster to help them rise again each day and figure out what the new normal may look like. These children need to grow up knowing who their daddy was. How larger than life he was, not just physically (Derek was imposing at well over 6 feet), but in personality, spirit, and will. The concept that physical harm could have come to him is still unreal to me. They need to remember his booming voice. His constant smile. His prodding questions. His silly antics. His energy and charm. His strong morals. His sense of community. And his trust in God. I hold up these examples in my own life and aspire to have half the impact on the world as he's had.