It's been almost a month from our last post. In some ways it feels like ages ago. In other ways it was just yesterday. We've spent the last few weeks involved in the celebration of Derek and Dylan's lives, but also deep in mourning. Thankfully we're not alone, as sad as it is to say because if I could spare anyone this type of pain I would, but instead we find ourselves back in the throws of friendships I've had for over 15 years. Yesterday was spent helping at a benefit in the girls honor. People showed up from everywhere to listen to bands, eat, and mainly be surrounded by those that really love the Taatjes. In all, we raised $9,500 towards living expenses and the girls education with only a few short days of planning. It felt good to see Charity laugh, the girls dancing and giggling with their friends, and old friends speaking honestly and openly to one another. Derek would have been so happy to have been at this event.
And in the midst of all this is my sweet friend Charity. Her grace and honesty is inspiring. She knows herself well and is patient with those around her as we stubble around her trying to anticipate her needs. (As if our small gestures can really ease the pain. But we pretend that it helps and she takes it all in stride.) Mainly I think I just want to be in her presence so I know she's ok in that very minute. But most amazing of all her traits is her brutal honesty where others would hide behind a mask of "what you're suppose to say or do." Charity, just like before these losses, continues to live as passionately and as real as she and Derek ever did. If you want to learn more about our friends or learn about how to donate to the family fund, check out the blog we set up.
Out of this experience and all the "grief bursting (TM)" (we think we should trademark the term :) comes an undeniable ability to see everything as beautiful and nothing beside our family and friends as very important. Ryan drops his fork and it's more precious. I small his hair too much and I am constantly looking for excuses to pick him up. So you can also guess that this has led to an obsessive amount of photo and video-taking. Ryan is doing great. Obviously he's picked up on our sadness, but he's so sweet in that he empathizes and tries to care for us. He's loving the warm weather and his newly formed friendships with the neighbor kids. His hair has remained curly and red. I think he's getting freckles! So take a peak at my obsessive picture taking and give me a little grace for the over-indulgence. Make sure you kiss your loved ones tonight, tell the people around you how much you value them and thank God for every blessing around you.
With love,
Court, Max + Ryan
As I packed up for the morning, I found Ryan reading his Bible to Cali.
Mother's day. He already looks like he 16 and waiting for his "buddies" to pick him up. He calls all his friends "buddies."
My dad took out my tricycle and cleaned it up for Ryan. You can still see my name spelled down the back of it!
Still not so sure about the peddles, he got around just fine!
He's waring an adult size cap these days.
The building of the "condo" (as it's affectionately called) has begun. This coming weekend will be spent doing most of the building of this monstrosity.
Uncle Billy (Max's brother in case you can't see it by looking at him) and their dad came for a visit the day after the funeral. It was a welcome high point on the week and wonderful to have two grownups around to dote on Ryan since Max and I were not much good.
48 hours after they arrived, I got a horrible case of the flu, so we sent the boys out of the house and to Ryan AND Pepaw's first professional baseball game at Whitecaps stadium!
Max's dad spent most of his time on our floors playing either trains or racing cars. The competition was fierce.
Intense.
Our gang of friends that threw the fundraiser gathered around Charity (center). Brad, behind me, sold one of our shirts for $200 in an impromptu auction! (I made them with iron on transfer paper and paid $2 for the shirt....nice ROI.)
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